Sunday, March 13, 2016
I’ve been asked a few times if people still go through those seven stages of emotions during their relationship; and how should people handle it. My answer to the first half of the question is yes, every time our partner is interested in or starts to date someone new, we go through those seven stages to some degree. Some people go through these stages whenever their partner leaves to spend time with the OSO too. I think that it’s a normal thing. I mean, a new person enters the picture or our partner leaves to spend some time with their OSO and we wonder where we will wind up on the relationship ladder. We wonder about this and go through those stages (maybe even a quick run through) until things balances out and we are comfortable again.
How we handle all this is another thing. We can read books, blogs, articles; talk to others about how they handle things, and you can get some good advice that you feel that you can use. But I feel that if you are not comfortable with, or in touch with yourself, then all this advice that you have been collecting will go by the wayside. So, what do we do about this? I’m a spiritual person so I feel that 2016 is the year of awakenings. No, I’m not going to go all religious on everyone. I’m going to write about what is working for me and maybe it’ll inspire you to either look into what I’m doing or look at things that may work for you.
I would strongly suggest that if you would like to start out, read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. The four agreements are: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. He then goes on and discusses each agreement. There is a companion workbook that just came out for the four agreements. There is also a fifth agreement: To see the truth. I haven’t read The Fifth Agreement book yet; but I will.
Another great book (for us women) is Warrior Goddess Training by Heatherash Amara. There’s a companion workbook for this as well. In this book she talks about clearing out old thoughts and ideas that no longer suit us and for us to become who we really want to be. For me this was one powerful book! It can be intense because we are looking at our past, but it really worked for me. Sorry guys, I tried to look up things for you, but if there is something out there for guys, please let me know and I’ll pass it along.
By finding out and being comfortable with yourself, I feel that you could be able to do those me times when your partner is away without feeling guilty or bad about it. I feel that when you hit those seven stages you can look at them in a different light (Like: My partner is responsible for their actions not me. I don’t have to play judge or victim to myself.) than you do now. I know that there are other books out there that are on the topic of personal growth/self-help; you will have to check them out and see which one feels good to you.